By Garret Leiva
Community editor
November 25, 2009 12:00 am Tradition dictates that the fourth Thursday in November is a time to give thanks: for family, food and antacid tablets. Thanksgiving is a celebration of heartfelt gratitude and turkey-with-all-the-trimmings heartburn. Food, fellowship and Detroit Lions football all add up to a day of thankful reflection and acid reflux. For many, Thanksgiving remains a date on the calendar when conspicuous consumption is decreed a legal holiday. After all, the average American packs away more than 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat on Thanksgiving Day, according to the Caloric Control Council. The fat content alone is akin to three sticks of butter. How about an angioplasty with that pumpkin pie? My family remains Jell-O salad with banana slices Midwest Thanksgiving traditionalists. Every year you can count on turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and Uncle Bill falling asleep during the football game. The menu might not sound exotic, but like mom's lump-free gravy, it's deliciously consistent. Shortly after the last cranberry sauce-stained dish is cleared it is time for another Thanksgiving tradition -- the belt. Often the belt notches let out coincides with dessert intake: seconds, thirds or just undo it. However, the use of sweatpants is considered poor taste, even with a drawstring. Each Thanksgiving I pay for the sin of too many deviled eggs. I also subject myself to the indigestion known as the Detroit Lions. Thankfully, I can close my eyes and make the televised hellacious pain go away. Of course, these are but preliminary steps leading up to a time-honored post-Thanksgiving dinner ritual -- the nap. After all, nothing brings a family together -- on the couch -- like a tryptophan food coma. While the Pilgrims gobbled down boiled turkey at that inaugural feast, they did take their elbows off the table long enough to give thanks. I would be remiss if I didn't express my thankfulness for: -- A wife who appreciates the fine line between an idiosyncractic and idiotic husband. -- A daughter who not only acknowledges her father in public, but still holds his hand. -- I can run out to the mailbox without getting winded. -- That unlike hair, friends and family stick around after 40. -- The day after Thanksgiving will find me nowhere near a shopping mall. Thanksgiving is a holiday stuffed with traditions. It is a time to give thanks for the bountiful cornucopia of family, fellowship and food; pass the antacid tablets.
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Garret Leiva