While there is no time change flying back from Walt Disney World to Michigan, you can suffer reality lag. Evidently grown men only walk around with Mickey Mouse ears in the gated community known as the Magic Kingdom.
After spending five days in Fantasyland, Adventureland, Tomorrowland and Maxoutcreditcardland, the flight of fantasy has crash landed on the tarmac of realism -- as in real jobs, real school and really only 30 degrees out. The suitcases, however, remain unpacked -- too much dirty laundry reality at once can cause the bends. At least we'll always have Paris -- or the Epcot facsimile there of.
While Disney World is all about blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, there are a few real world truisms that carry over to Walt's creation.
-- Everyone loves a parade but hates waiting for one --even in the Happiest Place on Earth. Mothers will run over your feet with strollers or use their child as a human shield to jockey for a piece of sidewalk on Main Street U.S.A.
-- The line forms on the right (or in every direction around you). Even if you stop to think, chances are a line will form behind you at Walt Disney World. The only place you won't find any real line -- in front of the men's bathroom. Unfortunately, Walt Disney doesn't offer a FASTPASS bypass ticket for the ladies' room.
-- Volunteers: Never step forward or sit in the front row. At Story Time with Belle, children were pulled out of the crowd to play characters from "Beauty and the Beast." Guess which overgrown "child" was picked by Belle to play her love interest? For the most part I didn't upstage the kids. However, when Belle asked the crowd what the Beast had transformed into, in my best thespian voice I quipped "a tourist." I'm not sure she appreciated my improv.
-- Parents will do anything for their kids. Our 6-year-old shied away from character encounters with the likes of Goofy and Donald Duck. Then we paid a visit to Minnie's Country House -- a place more torturous than the Tower of Terror or It's a Small World rides combined. You would think that owning a place with dancing kitchen utensils, Minnie could spring for A/C or at least a ceiling fan. I thought my wife was going to throttle Miss Mouse when she left to "powder her nose" as we baked in the Florida sun. Before a full-scale parental riot ensued, Minnie returned and we had our five-second photo op after an hour and a half wait.
As the Disney magic wears off -- just wait until the VISA statement arrives -- it's back to reality. Now if only I could stop the It's a Small World voices in my head.
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